Is it my curse or my power? Am I too sane for this insane world?
Question by pg: Is it my curse or my power? Am I too sane for this insane world?
Here is my problem and i need help desperately because its ruining my life.
It all started when my mom got sick when i was 8 year old. So i had to take care of my little sister who was just 3. They told that my mom wouldn’t survive so i became tough and mature for my age.
I took care of all chores in house that i possibly could and took great care of my sister like she was part of me. i tried to help mom in whatever way to make her healthy again.
She survived but she was too weak now. From that day i became caring….. or too much caring as they say.
I started caring and thinking about other people with problems…. my friends,relatives anyone. I tried to help them with their problems like they were my problems. I can’t be rude to anyone even if the person treats me like sh!t. I bottle up my anger and my emotions. And i was afraid that i may hurt someone and they will end up like my mom.
Every person/things i care about seems to be leaving me or dieing or getting lost.
I think 1000 time before doing anything. Even the girls hate me for that.
So that’s my problem…1) I think and care too much about pretty much every thing and everyone except myself
2) I cant express my feelings ..love,anger,disgust,happiness anything.
I was alone in the house emotionally, no body cared or asked about what i want/ i think or anything. I was the ugly duckling of the family and my sister the pretty and smart one. I am not jealous of my sister believe me, i am very proud of her. But i think i should get the same attention which i didn’t get back then.
Now i am 21 and few days ago i lost my mom. I was shocked. Again this MATURE THOUGHTS started coming up . Now my sister, my dad are my responsibilities and my happiness is secondary to theirs. I still haven’t found right girlfriend…..am i too nice for them?
People take advantage of me and use me for their gain and throw me away like trash when they are done and never help me when i need it.
My life is pretty much Fcuked up right now. I need help desperately!!!
I think i need some one … a girlfriend who will fulfill my emotional needs, care about me and and what i like, what i think etc…… which no one gave me for all these years.
But girls say i am emotionally confused and pessimist…
I don’t wanna repeat what i did 12 years ago….. i don’t wanna close doors to my mind and heart to others like i did before. But i can’t get over the feeling that being nice is suppose to be IDEOLOGICALLY correct…
Am i only sane guy left in this world? Should I be like rest of them….. minding my business not caring about other….become COLD n HEARTLESS? Should i look for the girl with great body and no soul and personality like everyone does?
i am just asking for a girls with great smile, personality and character .
Am i asking too much or these things are extinct these days?
Please don’t answer me like ‘your wrong’ or ‘dude your mind is fcuked up’ or something.
I want solution not label on my head telling me how wrong i am….=(
ppl plz therapy is not the answer… i am in deep sh!t but i haven’t turned loco. Someone mustav had some what same or similar experience like i did so … i want your advice …really .. i know you ppl will help me better than any cheap therapist because your advice will not be judgemental. Thanx =)
Answer by P!ATD luver
i’m not saying this to be rude or anything at all but …i think you should go to therapy they can help you with this. I kinda think i know how you feel cause i too am extremely mature for my age and i just lost someone who was very ill and its taking its toll on me i know eventually i’m gonna have to get through this but for now i’m faking it and i know that isnt healthy either and soon i will be going to therapy…i hope things work out for you and i’m sorry for your loss
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